Someone else's tears

I got a phone call the other day from a good friend that lives in Texas. Usually these calls are accompanied by laughing and memories. But this one was different. As I answered the phone, I knew from the moment I said hi that something was wrong. If you have close friends, you know what I am talking about. After minutes of weeping and me just listening (and crying a bit), she finally built enough strength to say that her father, in his 50’s, had passed away unexpectedly. She then just started to tell the story. As I listened to this tragic story, I just began to cry. Now I didn’t cry out loud, knowing that it wouldn’t help her at all. But it was one of those cries you feel in a movie that really touched you and you don’t want anyone around you to know. I felt as though I was crying someone else's tears. As I sat in my car with tears pouring down my face, I began to think of my own daddy. I can’t imagine losing my father right now. I knew how losing a father hurts, because just the thought of losing mine did. Anyway, in those kind of moments people don’t want you to say anything to fix it, they just want you to listen and to feel what they feel. In that moment that was all I could do… just listen and cry. When these kinds of tragedies happen, it is so good to grieve, cry, and then grieve some more. I think so many people hold it in for way too long that they never properly grieve their loss. I don’t know if you have ever lost someone, but it causes you to ask the hardest of questions: Why would God let something like this happen? Why?... As this question rolled off the lips of my friend into my ear, I honestly had no idea. Why does God let things like that happen to people? As I began to try to wrap my mind around the mysteries of God, I realized I was trying to wrap my mind around the “mysteries of God.” I don’t think we will ever be able to wrap our minds around why God does what He does, but I guess if we did, we would be God. All I know is that God’s Love never fails and that He never leaves us or forsakes us.

As I sat in my car, I remembered something I heard a long time ago. It was a practice in Jewish culture called sitting shiva. Essentially it was when someone lost someone else, a friend would come and just simply sit with that person. They wouldn’t say anything, but they would just sit and cry with them, grieving their loss. As I started to ponder that, I knew that Jesus was sitting shiva with my friend and I, grieving her loss. Despite the questions, despite the mystery, despite the anger, I knew my Jesus was sitting shiva, crying and weeping for her loss. If you have lost someone, I am so sorry for your loss………… But may you know that your God is sitting shiva with you grieving. Know that He cares and is so sorry for your loss. Know that He is crying your tears with you.